Yah...late last night, I get a phone call, and there's this very southern voice asking if this is "SED". I had forgotten about telling rob to call me and giving him my number. Took me about three seconds to clear sleep from my brain and figure out what was going on.
yes, I sometimes miss the forest for the trees. Rob's always saying he lives in a "no stop light" town, nearest neighbor "miles" away, and in south carolina in a remote place.
go figure he's all "twanged up" in his speech patterns, duh, i felt stupid.
when i was a very young man, i was in Texas, mostly around southern san antonio. The "alamo" was nearby. everyone had a rather pronounced "drawl". Many also had a mexican accent, and that was on TOP of the southern drawl. moving thru the southern stats betwen texas and florida, i slowly learned to understand 98% of the conversation, and if it wasn't for technical reasons, i let the extraneous 2% pass.
I quickly developed a "slight" southern accent that i worked hard on, so i could get waited on in a restaurant, and MADDENINGLY some of the diction and patterns wormed it way into my talking "without my consent".
Whan i came BACK up here to SW Pa... I had a real "slight" accent and spoeech patterns i found i had to watch out for or I would slip into it without thinking. The "upside" was if i was at a bar where no one knew me, i also had a slight accent i could "turn on" deliberately at will, and used it to chat up the pretty barmaid. Always makes them smile even if you canbt get a date from them, i dont know why that is.
that seems almost half a lifetime ago (probably because it was half a lifetime ago, lol...) so i likely cant turn it on anymore. I also havent "worked" on any of my "voices" in many years, so MERCIFULLY my funny cartoon and humor voices were lost to father time as well.
I was known for a good:
"Deputy Dawg"
the "nope-nope-nope" slow turtle on warner bro's cartoons.
"mongo" - and I will hug her and squeeze her and name her george
a pretty fair "prancing, tittering flamer"
an uncanny martian "the p38 space modulator"
a passable Ronald Reagan (circa the "alzheimers" years...lol)
and likely any odd number of TV commercial sound bites, whatever was instantly recognizeable 'till people forgot the commercial.
The one i "kept" was my friend "bill", I'm always around him. he has a very recognizeable voice and "choice of colorful phrases". He's one of the groups "tough guys", and its really hilarious, as when i'm around OTHER people, i always do his voice, and people always think its absolutely hysterical. I cant get people to believe its a "reality thing" not an "overcooked" humor voice i made up. I had a bunch of local kids doing his "voice" and "phrases" with each other, and a couple of people on the other side of the state as well.
ONE of these days, he's gonna be eating in a restaurant, and a fourten-year-old is gonna be doing HIS voice at another table, and i cant WAIT, lmao. Then, my life will be complete.
Traveling with RobDW oughta be a learning experience for me. Usually, its everyone ELSE worrying about what ME will be doing, saying, or what gyrations and shenanigans I will put thru myself in public.
My Buddy: "Now LISTEN to me, @$$hole... despite my BEST efforts, you're gonna SADLY be around my wife's parents and my boss, for about an hour or so. I swear to god almighty, if you EMBARASS me, I am gonna freak. RULES, mister. NO funny voices, NO fag voices, NO dancing, NO talk about sex jokes, and absolutely NO catholic priest sex joks, they're prety serious about bibles and stuff. You GOT that?"
Me: "Ok, Ok... I'll watch it and really tone it down. Dont worry... anything else?"
My Buddy: "Uh, yeah. Just in case we CANT get out of there in under an hour, you're not allowed to accept any coffee or caffeine soda. Thats how that $h!t usually gets started, I think. OH! no "serial killer" jokes either, for the love of the sweet christ. GawdD@mmit, we know you, but you cant DO that in front of people that dont know you."
Me: "All right. I'll pretend I'm a deaf mute."
Buddy: "good."
(time passes driving...)
buddy: this "deaf mute" isnt going to do sign language, or start talking "Wike Duff Puh-pul" is he?"
Me: "No! I TOLD you, I'll be quiet and try to behave, no caffeine, no humor at all, no sarcasm. Nothing. I'll be quiet."
(time passes driving...)
buddy: "Uhm..."
me: "What now?"
buddy: "try not to do the staring thing."
me: "WHAT staring thing?"
buddy: "When youre trying to be quiet, you STARE, and OBSERVE people. try not to STARE."
me: "Christ. Okay, I'll be a BLIND deaf mute guy. You happy? jeez, why cant i just stay in the car then?"
buddy: "no, you'd end up playing with tools in their garage or something, or start wandering around the grounds or something, then i'll be the A$$%*!# for making my buddy wait in the car on a hot day."
SO, we get there, and i'm quiet, i dont make jokes, i dont talk about ANYthing. Then the boss figures out the NAME, and he starts going "God DAMN! this is the nipple dance guy! I've been hearing about this for years now. Do it! Do it!"
"Naw, that.. thats just a thing that happens when i dont get enough sleep, then have too much coffee, really. I cant."
"Aw, h3ll. Gina? will you whip up a pot of the stong coffee? I just GOTTA see this..."
LMAO...
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"10M High Power, or BUST !!"
The Reload Bulletin Board
posted 06-20-2006 10:18 PM
posted 07-05-2006 01:08 PM
posted 07-05-2006 06:49 PM
Would you like to borrow my daughters Sponge Bob pillow case and blanket too? The weekend at the hotel alone should make for some interesting posts afterwards too!
